Practical Grudge Limit - By Request


An email request for the short version
The Practical Grudge Limit is an idea I've been playing with ever since this post. Stars above, it really has been almost four years, hasn't it? Sometimes it takes me a while to polish an idea.

Anyway, I first shared the PGL on my Pagan blog in On Christians and Pagan tolerance. You can read the context there.

I wasn't going to say anything before, but I'd like to propose a Rule.  Let's call it the Practical Grudge Limit.

I'm a big believer in networking, and I keep a lot of information on some of my contacts.  But too much information keeps me from focusing on the individual, so in my address book I have a one-off rule.  Basically I'll go one degree of separation.  So I may have their spouse's name, but I won't have their uncle's name.  Unless he's a regular contract too.

So in keeping with that idea, let's be generous at put the Outer Grudge Boundary at your grandparent's birthday.  It's just not practical to hold a grudge for something that happened before your grandparents were born.  The chances of you being able to do anything is nill.  As a Middle Grudge Boundary, let's say the day you were born.  Yes, important things happened before that, but it's not likely that it affected you directly.  Finally, the Inner Grudge Boundary should be your 18th birthday, or whenever you were recognized as an adult.  That marks the practical limit of when you could start doing something about the things that happened to you.

Now, chances are I'd be willing to take a stand for any injustice that happened within your Inner Grudge Boundary.  You'd have to really convince me before I would do something about an event that happened between your Inner and Middle Grudge Boundaries.  Without a really important reason, I'm not going to help you between Middle and Outer Grudge Boundaries because I don't see how it affects you or me right now.  Beyond your Outer Grudge Boundary, you're on your own.

Guess what?  These boundaries work with people and not just time.  If it happened to you, that's important and within your Inner Grudge Boundary and I can work with that.  If it happened to someone you're close to, well, that's a Middle Grudge Boundary.  If it happened to someone you know, that the Outer Grudge Boundary.

Yes, we can make noise about stuff beyond that, but what's the point?  It doesn't touch us directly.  Besides, like calls to like.  If we are filling our minds with desires for revenge, it really doesn't leave much space to live a life, does it?


Here is the summary straight from my notebook.

Practical Grudge Limit

Outer Grudge Boundary - your grandparent's birthday OR someone you know.

Middle Grudge Boundary - your birthday OR someone you're close to

Inner Grudge Boundary - your 18th birthday/age of majority OR something that happened to you.

If I know you, I'm willing to make a stand with you against injustice if it's inside your IGB.

You have to convince me between your IGB and MGB.

I need a really good reason between your MGB and OGB.

Beyond that, you're on your own because as far as I can tell, it has no PRACTICAL effect on either you or me.

All in all one of my better ideas I'd say.

— NeoWayland

Posted: Thu - February 11, 2010 at 05:51 AM  Tag


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