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My thoughts on the neighborhood

This is a page from the original version of Pagan Vigil. There are some formatting differences. Originally published at

Just in case you wanted to know

Here's what I think about the Neighborhood Game.

There's a new restaurant a few streets over, it seems very popular. Most of the dishes use dog meat.
I'd like to think that I am a little more understanding towards fourfoots. I've owned a few dogs and been owned by one cat. Still, it's hard to justify a cow or a pig as a meat animal while saying that a dog isn't. There are cultures that do eat dogs. I can remember my grandfather slaughtering pigs. What's the difference? It's hard to say.

Still, I don't think I would go to that restaurant. Even if I can't justify shutting them down.

At the corner is an older couple. Their grandkids usually drop by after school. The couple is retired, but they make their own wine and beer for walking around money. They also grow their own cannabis for "just because" money.
This is actually based on a couple I know. Pardon me if I don't tell you where they live.

The thing is, the wine and beer are legal, but the cannabis isn't. There's no reason for that.

"Just Because" money usually ends up buying someone a gift just because.

There's a lesbian couple a few doors down. Very affectionate but not in a sex-in-your-face kind of way. More like young professionals who are genuinely dedicated to each other. One's a police lieutenant and the other is a plumbing contractor with her own business. They are also avid gun enthusiasts with a (very safe) shooting range in the back yard. They're looking to adopt.
Also based on a couple I know. They did adopt, but the kid is spoiled and a bit of a brat, so I don't connect with them as much as I used to.

The one thing that concerns me here (as it did there and then) is that outdoor shooting range. It was very well built and I guess it was pretty well designed, but I am not sure it belonged in a residential area. It got dismantled when the kid got there.

This is one case where I trusted the individual, even if I wouldn't trust the police department she worked for.

Over on the next street there is a fifty-ish polygamist with three wives and five children.

The polygamist has just asked for your twelve year old daughter's hand in marriage.
I've got two issues here. The first and foremost is the age of consent. My own grandmother was married very young, mainly because she was an orphan passed from relative to relative. Still, personally I would say that sixteen is probably the youngest anyone should get married, and twenty-one is probably better yet.

My second issue is that if a guy can be married to more than one woman, there is no reason that a woman can't be married to more than one man. Or three women. Or two men and another woman. Or any other possible combination of adult humans. As long as everyone consents, I don't think that there is a problem.

Sadly, I don't think that is allowed in polygamist marriages. I may be wrong, but I have heard and seen enough to be pretty sure I am not.

Catty-corner to yours is a house that looks a little neglected. There are four people who live there and they can only be described as nerds. Strange mechanical and electronic noises and lights come out of the houser at odd times. Someone there operates a business that refurbs electronics and appliances, but you've seen them work on everything from motorcycles to garden fountains. You're not exactly sure where all that stuff comes from or where it goes. On the other hand, thanks to them, everyone on your street who wants it has free cable.
Also based on a house I knew years ago. I didn't specify the sex of the occupants because there were times I was not sure what they were. I'm also not sure of the relationship they had among themselves. Yes, they were plugged into alternative economies, and if you wanted something badly enough, they could usually find it. Yes they could fix things. No they couldn't cook and no they couldn't take care of the house.

I don't think they actually dealt with stolen property, but they were on the dark gray side of the law in most things.

I think I would still be OK with most of this as long as they didn't actually deal with stolen goods or cash.

Directly across from your house is a group marriage with three women and two men, all comfortably adult. There's obviously a lot of love there, but you aren't quite sure about the sleeping arrangements.

The group marriage has made some indications that you could be welcome to join once they get to know you better.
Wish fulfillment time. With the right people I think this would be my ideal family. I'm not sure how this would work if the guys were bisexual, I have some issues there.

Right next door to you is a guy who has several junker cars parked in his lawn. You haven't seen at least six of them ever moved. He also has a bunch of dogs around, you're not sure how many. The dogs may be neglected most of the time, they certainly seem to be howling and barking enough.
This was the neighbor from hell. Not mine thankfully. The dogs were loud and vicious, not just neglected but mistreated.

I think if it had been me, I could have lived with the junkers, but not the dogs.

What neighborhood would be complete without a cat lady? You never see the cats outside the house and the house itself is always perfectly clean. The cat lady watches everyone and is only too willing to share what she has seen what others have told her.
My version of this lady wasn't content just to gossip, but tried to start fights and battles among the other neighbors. After a while, everyone ignored her.

Down at the end of the street there's a smart looking couple. Every other Friday they give sex parties. You've never actually seen anything, but the noises don't leave a lot to the imagination. And early every Monday afterwards like clockwork the pool guy comes.
I knew this couple, but never lived in their neighborhood and was never invited to a party. Didn't stop me from playing occasionally with the lady. She did like being spanked.

If they were in my neighborhood, I think it would be the noise issue that would bother me.

Speaking of noises, there's a family at the other end who raises livestock. The animals seem well cared for, but there is a lot of sound and sometimes the animal smell is pretty bad.

The livestock family practices Santeria. Sometimes they sacrifice for others too.
Based on some families I've read about in Florida. If I lived there, I think I would make a fuss about the sound and the smell.

A single guy lives in the smallest house on the block. He's not home a lot, but when he is, he sheds clothes and walks around naked. He doesn't have tan lines and doesn't seem to care who might be watching. You've never actually seen the single guy in a sexual situation, but he often has lady guests who stay the night. Men guests too. Sometimes both at once.

A few times a year, the single guy paints himself all over and puts on a wide belt with a big knife on one side and a pouch on the other. Neither the belt nor the paint leave anything to the imagination. Sometimes he leaves, sometimes he just goes into his back yard.
Loosely based on me. I'm not bisexual for one thing, and when I do strip at home it's in the back yard with a lot of plant cover or inside with the drapes drawn. I don't want to "mess in my own nest," so I am careful about nudity around the house. There are some places I go where I don't have to be as careful. The getup is part of some ritual wear I am putting together. I have experimented with ritual body paint, but it's one of those things that is very hard to do on your own.

I almost put some statuary in the front lawn, but I chickened out just like I did at my real house.

How would I feel with me as a neighbor? I think it would depend. I would probably have problems with the guy described here, but I could live with the guy I actually am.

Your ten year old son thinks that naked body paint thing is really cool. Guess what he wants to do for Halloween.
Hey, as a ten year old, I would have thought that was amazing. I'm not sure every ten year old boy would think that, and of course today you have to be careful of the whole sex crimes thing (FYI Nudity does not equal Sex), and my excitement probably wouldn't have survived the first laugh, but yeah, it would have been cool.

If I had a son, I think I would explain that there is a time and place for being nude, and Trick or Treating wasn't it.

An evangelical preacher and his family live in another house on the street. The preacher spends a lot of time telling some of the others on the street that the Bible tells him that what they are doing is wrong.

The preacher's wife spends a lot of time telling you how her husband is persecuted by the others on the street.
I not only know these people, I am related to a bunch of them.

Honestly these days when someone tells me "what the Bible has to say," I tune out, especially if the person isn't all that interesting by themselves.

Every Saturday night the preacher gives services in his house. He's popular and the parking clogs the street. Not to mention that the congregation is very enthusiastic with their music.
Something else drawn from the news,

I wouldn't mind them meeting in the house. I wouldn't mind the singing as long as it wasn't too late. But the parking thing would get to me.

There's a wanna-be politico who lives on your street too. He's running for city council and he makes a lot of promises. Not too many have come true yet though.
Someone I would ignore as much as I could. At least until he started keeping his promises.

One guy on the street wears military type clothes. mostly tee shirts and camouflage. You don't see his family much. You don't think he's actually in the military or any militia groups, but he brags. He's usually waving a weapon around, and has been known to take potshots at the small animals running around. The lesbian couple makes him nervous.
Also based on someone I knew even if it seems like a stereotype. There was this pistol crossbow, and there was a rabbit, and there was a cat. The rabbit survived, the cat did not.

I understand this type tries to hang out with actual freedom movement types, but is usually brushed off or sent snipe hunting. Apparently he triggers all sorts of radars and the "real deal" just fades into the background.

Then there is the nice family. They never seem to have much, but they have what they need. Generous to a fault, they would give you the clothing they are wearing if they thought you needed it. Although you might have to wait until the clothes are washed and dried first. Sometimes they are taken advantage of, but mostly everyone just wants to get along with them.
Giving credit where credit is due. This fits most of my evangelical relatives, at least when they aren't on the religion kick.

Okay, I felt guilty for the other bit. Some childhood voices you never escape from.

I've also known other families like this. Salt of the earth types. Good folk. One of the few things that encourage me to a better person than I am usually.

Then there is the borrower family. Things just "happen" to end up at their place. It takes persuasion and the occasional threat to get things back.
If this happened to me once or twice, I'd be watching very carefully when they came around.

Well, those are my thoughts. How'd I do?

How did YOU do?

Posted: Fri - October 24, 2008 at 07:24 AM

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