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NeoNote — Abortion is not about women's rights

Abortion is not about women's rights.

Yes, I know most here do not agree. But there are two things you must consider. First, it's not a right unless the other person has it too. Which means that "reproductive rights" just excluded half the population. Now, that doesn't mean I am saying no abortions. I'm just pointing out that abortion is not a right, any more than designer shoes.

Second, not all women think that abortion is a right. You can denounce them, you call call them misguided, but they don't agree that abortion is a right.

Finally, before you complain about judicial decisions, remember that Roe vs. Wade was a judicial decision that circumvented existing law.



And as I told you before, "these people" see it as a matter of preserving human life. The "opening bid" was Roe vs. Wade. I don't agree with them on everything, but let's get the timeline right.

Like it or not, the rights of the fetus are a part of the discussion. As are the rights of the father. Reproductive "rights" can't trump that, but reproductive privilege certainly does.

If this were a matter of rape, you might have a point. But sex is still (mostly) a consensual activity.



Their passions and their beliefs are just as strong as yours are. They aren't going to accept defeat quietly, anymore than you would.

While neither you nor they will admit it, the other side has some truth.

And in case you hadn't noticed, you have damn little power over your health care now. The left isn't blameless and totally virtuous in this matter, and I wish we would stop pretending that they are. Government is government and power over is power over. No matter how noble the motives, no matter how much it's for the common good, it still takes away choice.



Practically every reason that healthcare is messed up is because of government interference. Whether it is special perks and privileges extended to major pharma firms, or the approval period for new drugs and procedures, or Medicare and Medicaid setting prices for procedures and treatment while exploding costs far beyond inflation, or the active suppression of nurse practitioners, or screwing up insurance so badly that people have no idea what they are paying for or if it would be cheaper not to go through their insurance, the list goes on and on.

It doesn't help that every government fix involves more government.

And why do people keep raising the issue of rape when it comes to women's medical care?

Just to point out the obvious, both Republicans and Democrats have turned women's bodies into battlegrounds where there can be no compromise.



*sighs* The original stat for American women was one in five women will be sexually abused in their lifetime. Abused, not necessarily raped. It's also not accurate.

I don't accept your premise of either/or.

Nor do I accept that sex and abortion are tied to rape. Funny, I don't think that most relationships have to be about who has the power.

If you don't think that Democrats exploit women's bodies, then why is it so important to denounce the women who don't agree?



The original study was the 2007 Campus Sexual Assault study conducted by the National Institute of Justice, a division of the Justice Department. Here's what two of the authors had to say:

As two of the researchers who conducted the Campus Sexual Assault Study from which this number was derived, we feel we need to set the record straight. Although we used the best methodology available to us at the time, there are caveats that make it inappropriate to use the 1-in-5 number in the way it’s being used today, as a baseline or the only statistic when discussing our country’s problem with rape and sexual assault on campus.

Second, the 1-in-5 statistic includes victims of both rape and other forms of sexual assault, such as forced kissing or unwanted groping of sexual body parts—acts that can legally constitute sexual battery and are crimes. To limit the statistic to include rape only, meaning unwanted sexual penetration, the prevalence for senior undergraduate women drops to 14.3%, or 1 in 7 (again, limited to the two universities we studied).

Until someone else mentioned it, I deliberately avoided mentioning rape. I specifically talked about sex, responsibility, and abortion. A casual reading of some of the other responses here (including yours) would seem to excuse a woman's responsibility before the fact because of, you know, rape. Maybe I'm just being extra dense here, but it seems like the only reason rape is introduced into the discussion mentioned is to specifically excuse women from responsibility.

When someone starts offering two and only two alternatives, that's the cue to look for the fourth, fifth, and sixth choices.

There are conservative women who disagree with you on abortion. Why aren't they a part of the discussion?

Why should your morality and choices govern the actions of another? Isn't that what you say would happen if conservatives "win?"

One other thing. Roe vs. Wade. Decided by eight old, rich white dudes and one rich, old black dude.



“You can't circumvent the topic of rape when discussing abortion.”

Why not? Are all or most women raped? Do all or most abortions happen because of rape? Why is it so very very necessary to make this part of the discussion when rape is not usually the reason for abortion?

Again, I am not saying that abortion should be illegal. I am saying that it is more than just the woman involved. I am not arguing over the definition of life. I am not dragging out charts and pictures to show a fetal heartbeat or how it responds to touch at what point in the pregnancy. I am saying that abortion is not a right when it excludes the man. And at a certain point (which I have no idea what is), the fetus.

If you want men to act responsibly, that means their sex partners should too. That means that yeah, women should think about consequences before sex. That means that if abortion is an option, it should happen before the last trimester and probably before the second. And yes, that means that the man should be involved in the decision. If they aren't, then men are just being encouraged to be irresponsible.

Just like what is happening now.

The default is for the man NOT to be involved. The default is for the man to ignore the consequences. Claim that only the woman can choose, and the man doesn't have to choose.

That's why abortion as it is now is not a right.



I am not denying that rape happens, although I do not think it is nearly as common in America as some claim.

I just think that always discussing rape when talking about abortion doesn't do your argument any good. As it is, based on what you say abortions should be performed if the woman was raped and never for any other reason.

Yes, I am arguing. I am saying that abortion isn't a right if even the discussion doesn't have to include the man. And the man is not usually or even mostly a rapist.

That's it.

Everything else is something that others have tried to hang on me.



*shrugs* Your choice has reduced this to either/or.

Here's the inevitable result. You can imprison them and/or kill them, or they can imprison/kill you. Force rules. Might makes right. Submission must happen. Power over, now and forever.

Is that what you want?



*shrugs*

Like I said, reproductive privilege excludes the man. And if a woman excludes the man from the choice, then he has no reason to be responsible. “He is literally just a donor of genetic material…”



Who said I didn't consider women as human beings?

I'm a guy who believes the aunts and grandmothers theory of history.

I seek the Divine in every lady I meet. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes not. Sometimes it's my fault, sometimes not. I knew my first strong woman from before I was born. She learned it from her grandmother, the strongest woman I've ever known (www.neowaylandDOTcom/files/StrongWoman170330.html).

Why do you assume that because I dissent on some things I would throw you to the Christian patriarchy?

Why are you measuring somebody's strength by something granted by politicos?

Again, I haven't said no abortions. I've just said that if it's only the woman's choice, then it's not a right.



For the last fifty years or so, American men have lost rights when it comes to children. Somehow the discussion about abortion always includes vague allegations of rape and domestic violence as if most men did terrible things to women.

Most men don't do these things. We're not guilty, we shouldn't be blamed for what we didn't do and are not likely to do. The presumption of guilt should not shape relationships and sex.

Even now, you are escalating. The discussion started about abortion. Then domestic violence got added. Then rape. And now you added murder.

Everybody shares a right. Privileges exclude people. Only some get privileges. Privileges are not rights, and rights are not privileges.

Now I am not talking about rape, I am not talking about domestic violence. I am not talking about what happened 100 years ago or last week in France.

What I am saying is that if the baseline of social behavior now means that a man will not be involved the decision to have an abortion, then it is a privilege, not a right



You keep assuming that I have their beliefs.

I don't.

I'm saying that it is not about rights when only one person is allowed to decide.



Then if the man's desires don't count, does that mean they don't owe child support?



"Want" doesn't have anything to do with it.

Accepting responsibility does.

But not if they are denied the choice.



Then give me numbers instead of allegations.

At the same time, I'll point out that by excluding men from the decision, they never have to be responsible. Under the circumstances, the surprise is not that some men flake out. It's that others don't.



It's not just "men" who have this opinion. That's the point. Women don't all agree with you and it's foolish to pretend that they do.

My first sex rule is "Consenting adults only.". The first derivation of that is "Your desire does not control another's choice."

I absolutely agree that children need happy families. I also think they need male and female role models, but that is another discussion.

I think the power and the responsibility doesn't just lie with men.



I do know that for a while, CA had a law that if the mother published the name of a man she claimed was the father a certain number of times, that man was obligated to pay support even if genetic testing showed there was no relationship. I know a few guys who got caught in that trap.



I am not saying most women are irresponsible.

I am saying that having sex without considering the consequences with your partner is irresponsible.

I'm saying that our "system" of excluding men from the decision about abortion encourages men to be irresponsible and guilt free.

Do I think that birth control is a good thing? Yes.

Do I think that abortion is a right? No, not if it doesn't include the man.

Do I think that late term abortion is a good thing? Definitely not in the third trimester and I would question any that happen in the second.

Do I think that men can be unfeeling jerks more concerned with their own pleasure than their partner's feelings? Yes, especially if they are not held responsible for their actions. If the man isn't allowed to talk about abortion with his partner, why should he care? That is the society we live in. He's encouraged to think it's the woman's fault if she gets pregnant.

The hook-up culture certainly hasn't helped. If the guy doesn't have to work at seduction, why should he pay attention to her feelings?

I still don't think that rape should be part of the discussion about abortion because most abortions happen without rape. The only reason I can see for treating rape as the norm for abortions is to silence criticism about abortion.

If you want to shut people out of the conversation for whatever reason, that is your choice. Just don't expect them to accept your "rights."

If you want to blame all of this on men, that's your choice too. But most of them will resent you for it because they didn't do what you are accusing them of.

So that's where we are. Because I said abortion wasn't a right, you've said I am anti-woman and a bad Pagan and a bad person. But I've not prevented abortions. I've not voted against abortion. I'm not arguing against abortion. All I've said is that abortion is not a right. I haven't tried to turn back the clock.

If you really want to fight what's happening in these states, you're going to have to find a justification other than the "right to an abortion." I'm being honest with you. I'm not attacking you and I am certainly not attacking women as a group. I am telling truth. It's what I do.
NeoNotes are the selected comments that I made on other boards, in email, or in response to articles where I could not respond directly.

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“Alyssa Milano's SEX STRIKE? Feminist Abstinence Fail”

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American obsession

Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.
— Marlene Dietrich
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Women's rights

The first and most important "women's right" is the right to vote. Then comes the right to earn, to keep what is earned, and to hold property. Free speech and the rest listed in the Bill of Rights come next. Reproductive "rights" don't even make the top ten. Especially since the last time I checked, sex is supposed to be a consensual activity.
— NeoWayland, comments from The “no news is good news” open thread
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Rape culture

There is a distinct difference between healthcare and health insurance.

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On the Equality Act

The Nature of Sex

If this sounds like a massive overreach, consider the fact that the proposed Equality Act — with 201 co-sponsors in the last Congress — isn’t simply a ban on discriminating against trans people in employment, housing, and public accommodations (an idea with a lot of support in the American public). It includes and rests upon a critical redefinition of what is known as “sex.” We usually think of this as simply male or female, on biological grounds (as opposed to a more cultural notion of gender). But the Equality Act would define “sex” as including “gender identity,” and defines “gender identity” thus: “gender-related identity, appearance, mannerisms, or characteristics, regardless of the individual’s designated sex at birth.”
     — Andrew Sullivan
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Six sex rules

GFC Lessons Not Learnt

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NeoNote — Unstable people (and not who you think)

Now, see, I was going to make nice here and just touch on the subject.

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“DRAG QUEEN KIDS: The New Normal?”

“Drag Queen Kid Desmond is Amazing recently danced at a gay bar & Lactatia the 8 year old drag queen has been praised by progressives. Drag Queens are increasingly being invited to speak at schools, so is drag the normal for children?”

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Thursday roundup

Headlines that don't merit their own entry

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Wednesday roundup

Headlines that don't merit their own entry

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NeoNote — Pandering

Since the last time I read your stuff, I've been racking my brain to remember any libertarians who "pandered" to pedophiles. I can't remember any. "Consenting adults" is a big priority.

As for "pandering" to homosexuals, well, we also "pander" to Jews, women, Rotarians, Red Sox fans, and classic car owners. Not to mention people with piercings, people with tattoos, people with nine toes, and almost anyone else you can name.

If you're threatened by "live and let live," by all means run away.



These are two different issues. The only one that I'm denying is that libertarians pander to pedophiles.

You want to use it as the modern political equivalent of blood libel.

It's probably because I am pagan, but I've found keeping minors at an arm's length when it comes to religion and sexuality solves more problems than it causes. It's one of those necessary compromises that keeps neighbors.



I think you'll find that most small "l" libertarians like me consider it a minor issue, if at all.

I will point out that the laws are not self consistent. Driving at 16 (some farm states allowed it at 14 in rural areas), voting and draft eligibility at 18, drinking age of 21, well, those are just some of the best known examples.

I've pointed out before that the whole extended childhood thing is mostly a post WWII American urban phenomena. Attitudes towards "child brides" were very different a few generations ago.



Can you tell me what the "American" position is on taxes? Does every single American agree with that? What about public schools? And immigration?

I call myself libertarian with a small "l" because when I say "classic liberal" most folks in the U.S. don't know what I am talking about. It has nothing to do with a political party and everything to do with liberty.

I believe that the freedom to choose is the mark of an adult human. Make of that what you will.



Classic liberalism predates the founding of the American republic. That is why I distinguish between "Libertarianism" and "libertarianism." Big "L" versus small "l." Party platform versus individual responsibility.

If you'll look closely at what I've written, I've always stressed "consenting adults" when it comes to sexual practices.

I pointed out that even the All Wise Forces of Government & Society® can't decide when a child is responsible or not.
NeoNotes are the selected comments that I made on other boards, in email, or in response to articles where I could not respond directly.

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“The TRUTH About Abortion & Sex”

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Second wave feminism

I suspect that many other problems that second and third wave feminists faced happened because certain men took advantage. These (sleaze ball) men said the appropriate things, acted properly in public, and attended the right meetings. But it was all a show, manipulating the second wavers into sex and other things. Then these certain (scumbag) men went on to their next conquests all while convincing everyone else that they supported women and feminism. The third wave misandry that followed was a natural reaction.
     — NeoWayland, feminism (second wave)
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NeoNote — Abortion

Abortion is one of those things I have mixed feelings on.

First, even in this modern day, every pregnancy may not result in live birth, even with the best actions of the parents and the doctors. I say this because many conservatives act as if it were not so.

Second, even a potential human life should be more than gulp-a-pill and POOF it's gone. Assuming the sex is consensual, there is no reason that both partners should not take precautions if they don't want a child.

Third, Unless it's with me, who you have sex with, how you have sex, and how many times you have sex is frankly none of my business. Likewise, unless it is sex with me, I'm not responsible for the consequences.
— NeoWayland's lexicon, sex

Fourth, no agency or entity that receives taxpayer funds should provide abortion or abortion counseling. I know they'll say that taxpayer funds are never used for either, but providing any money just frees other funds for those uses. It's one of those legal fictions that lets politicos skirt responsibility.

Fifth, there is a right of privacy, although not as defined by Roe vs. Wade. It's there in the Third, Fourth, Fifth, Ninth, Tenth, and (yes) the Fourteenth Amendments.
NeoNotes are the selected comments that I made on other boards, in email, or in response to articles where I could not respond directly.

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Mutual consent

Mutual consent is the only factor I've found that makes any sense.

I would no more try to control someone's sexual activities than I would try to control their diet or clothing. And for pretty much the same reason. Now I personally may not prefer sheep's brains or orange polka dots on purple plaid, but that gives me no reason to stop the other guy.
     — NeoWayland
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The standard argument

This is a page from the original version of Pagan Vigil. There are some formatting differences. Originally published at www.paganvigil.com/C49491493/E20070715134558

An argument against gun control has much wider application than I realized

I had some friends over on Friday and dug out my DVD of Sergeant York for a movie and ice cream. Great film, some very nuanced performances there. Hardly anyone believes me when I tell them that Margaret Wycherly who plays Mother York was a classically trained stage actress.

Anyway, the film sparked a discussion on gun control. I dragged out standard libertarian argument 3B. "The people who pay attention to gun laws are not the ones you should be worried about."

Later battling insomnia sipping hot grapefruit juice (don't knock it till you have tried it), it occurred to me that was probably THE standard libertarian argument, not just against gun control but against almost every bad law.

Illegal drugs? "The people who pay attention to drug laws are not the ones you should be worried about."

Prostitution? Same thing.

Global warming?

Freedom of speech?

Unusual sexual practices?

Minority religions?

It applies to every single one.

For most people, making something illegal won't change their morality. It might prevent someone from abusing a freedom, but more likely it will just restrict the freedom of those who have already proved that they are responsible adults.

So at that point, don't these laws simply impose immoral and irresponsible conditions in the name of freedom?

The people who will obey the law will obey. And those taking advantage will simply break the law with no real consequences. The only things that increase are taxes and government power.

Who really benefits by making someone sign for cough medicine?

Posted: Sun - July 15, 2007 at 01:45 PM

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Contraception

I'm really not trying to be difficult here. But I have a hard time seeing how contraception for consensual sex should be on the public dime. How can that be a right when not everyone benefits and taxes are collected by force to pay for it?
     — NeoWayland
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Abortion & contraception

I have mixed feelings on abortion. The one thing I am sure about is that it should not be paid for by government. There are many reasons, but the main one is that it's always easier to spend someone else's money.

Contraception is less complicated. Sex is (or should be) a voluntary act. You choose to have sex. Your neighbors should no more pay for your contraception than they should pay for your designer shoes. This is an example of what I was talking about. If government gives you benefits at the expense of others, it's privilege.
     — NeoWayland
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Too afraid

This long, solemn wake is an over-reaction that’s led to boredom and disinterest from the general public who actually pay to watch movies. People still love sex, sizzle and controversy — but the entertainment industry is too afraid to serve it up right now.
     — Johnny Oleksinski, The woke police have ruined entertainment
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Utopia

If you want to find utopia, take a sharp right on money and a sharp left on sex and it's straight ahead.
     — Penn Jillette

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Taken stands

I've taken stands for gun rights, alternative sexual practices, the value of the family with men and women role models, religious choice, the free market, and good movies.
     — NeoWayland
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Polyamorous

Most polyamorous people will tell you that polyamory is based on active, long term relationships. It's not a license to sleep with whoever at the drop of a hat. And it's certainly not the ability to compel sex from another.
     — NeoWayland
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Questionable

Messing with kids, that's perverted.

Demanding that others acknowledge AND celebrate your sexuality, that's questionable.

Actually being lesbian, gay, transgender, or whatever else isn't.

Mixing your sexuality with politics is a pretty good sign that you're corrupt though.
     — NeoWayland
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Climax

I learned a long time ago that it's worth the trouble to make sure she's got at least two climaxes for every one of mine.

Keeps her smiling too.
     — NeoWayland
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A woman's sexual behavior

I'm not responsible for a woman's sexual behavior any more than I am responsible for the color of her shoes. It's her choice and her responsibility. It's not her neighbor's responsibility. It's not society's responsibility.
     — NeoWayland
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Some people I trust

I don't think that a magic set of neurons turns on at age 16, 18, or 25. I've said before there are some people I trust at 14 to make a major decision, and some I don't trust to do the same at 40. That's not including sex.
     — NeoWayland
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NeoNotes — Witch hunts without due process

Sometimes we pagans take our sex way too seriously.

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Super oversized roundup - clearing out the old stack

Older headlines that don't merit their own entry

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from crux № 7 — age of consent

I think the age of consent is the best rule anyone has come up with so far.

But let's not kid ourselves.

The whole post WWII extended childhood thing is an artificial American invention.

The biology disagrees.

Before we start talking about the morality, we need to acknowledge that.

If we insist that kids wait until 18, 19, 25, or 37 we need a good reason.



Sometimes the kids do know. Most of the time in fact, if they know they will be held responsible for it.

Sometimes the adults don't know, no matter what the age. Any one going to a bar to hook up isn't being rational.

Sometimes the experience of making mistakes and having to deal with the consequences are the things that make us wise.



I know that for you, marriage and sex should be (ahem) wedded at the hip. I don't think it's a universal one size fits all solution though.

I do like your condition of marriage though.



I wouldn't call it loosening. I would call it changing.

I'd also say that it's necessary. Some of the social mores of the last two centuries needed to be dropped. For example, child labor under terrible conditions and for terrible pay used to be the norm.

The rules that work, we should keep. But you can't do change without testing all the rules constantly.

I started keeping my crux files because I noticed I kept getting into the same discussions in comment threads on other people’s web sites. After a while it just made sense for me to organize my thoughts by topic. These are snippets. It’s not in any particular order, it’s just discussions I have again and again.
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NeoNotes — ban it

Headlines that don't merit their own entry

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from crux № 3 — Shame & sex

“How The EU’s Data Grab Could Affect You”

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None of my business

Headlines that don't merit their own entry

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NeoNotes — Subjective morality

For length reasons, this entry appears on it's own page.

“The law should be limited to punishing direct, measurable harm.”

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NeoNotes — Fertility religion

Yes, my path is a fertility religion. What of it? I could just as easily disparage you for the false division between soul and body. Mind, body, and spirit are unified in LIFE and it's a particularly fine thing. One connects to the others. You can't touch one without touching all three. That is the human experience.

Neither of my companions share my beliefs. But I enjoy them and each of them enjoys me. Sex is a big part of that. But so is thinking about what the other says and feels. So is sharing experiences. So is remembering.

I can't think of a better place to do that than pressed up against each other in the afterglow.

Can you?

NeoNotes are the selected comments that I made on other boards, in email, or in response to articles where I could not respond directly.

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NeoNotes — Off Limits

Behind locked doors and privacy fences, I am "free to do what I want." But is that freedom?

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NeoNotes — Laci Green

Because I lost a wager, I spent some time looking at Laci Green videos a while back. The stuff on sex is pretty good, the stuff on relationships is so-so, and the SJW stuff is just destructive. Although in her defense, I don't think she has thought through the implications.

Anyway, the chances of someone under 25 knowing very much about relationships are pretty slim. Particularly when their solution is for at least half of humanity to submit to their wisdom and change their ways. class="ghoster">

NeoNotes are the selected comments that I made on other boards, in email, or in response to articles where I could not respond directly.
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NeoNotes — Sexuality & society

Most of the problems caused by illegal drugs come from the drugs being illegal in the first place.

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NeoNotes — Emotional connections

Sex without the emotional connection is masturbation

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NeoNotes — Vice

Something different. Something unexpected. Something wonderful.

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NeoNotes — Smear

the ORIGINAL NeoNotes™

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NeoNotes — Sex Speculation

There I admit we get into some speculation. We can't isolate the culture from the genetics. Not to mention that Really Big Assumption that you are either straight OR gay forever and ever, amen.

We can't say how much a person's sexual orientation depends on their conditioning, religious beliefs, cultural standards, rebellion, stress, pain, or pleasure. These factors can't be eliminated.

Basically all we have to work with is observations and we don't know how much is because of the biology and how much is because of the mind. That means in turn that any discussion of sex is going to bog down really quickly in ideas that can't be quantified.

Thank the gods the same can't be said for the act! class="ghoster">

NeoNotes are the selected comments that I made on other boards, in email, or in response to articles where I could not respond directly.

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Not all feminists…

Certainly not all women are like that. What we have is a very small group that wants political power and public validation in the worst way. Yes, it’s another case of Those Who Want To Be Noticed.



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Zero. Zilch. Nada.

I am absolutely certain that abortion should not be funded by taxpayers. Nor should organizations or companies providing abortions. Nor should companies that provide birth control.

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Maggie McNeill takes a stand

Somebody else knows…

That government is not your friend.

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“Protecting” the children

How pictures of a family camping trip turned into a family's personal hell

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Sex and crimes

Some people are deliberately confusing the issues to advance their beliefs

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Forbidden

The law and you

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Liberty, the internet, and the free market

The last, best hope for freedom

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